Shame Dies When Stories Are Told In Safe Spaces: Lilith And Shame

The words of this quote are quite literal and I found myself repeating the quote to myself a few times trying to process what was being said. Shame dies when stories are told in safe spaces. What did this truly mean without attempting to intellectualise the quote?

I saw a quote on Instagram a few weeks ago that said shame dies when stories are told in safe spaces. A few weeks later I also saw a clip from a podcast which had folzfab on Instagram in it and she was speaking on her experience of being a young mother. The shame, embarrassment, and other feelings she felt at the time and how she came to realise over time that these harsh words and labels would only have a hold over her as long as she gave into these things. Choosing to reject these labels and feelings and choosing to not live in shame also came through telling her story and using this as a testimony. Realising the power of perspective and also understanding that so long as we still carry the shame, guilt, regret, and embarrassment from our stories and experiences we will continue to be haunted by shame.

Shortly after, saturnrevolution on Instagram made a post on Instagram about using astrology to uncover your shadow work, and how Lilith is “the shamed self and where we allow shame to take over integrating our power.

It was a timely message that coincided with the quote I came across. I love quotes and strongly believe that there is a quote to explain every situation even if you don’t have the words to articulate your pain. The words of this quote are quite literal and I found myself repeating the quote to myself a few times trying to process what was being said. Shame dies when stories are told in safe spaces. What did this truly mean without attempting to intellectualise the quote? It took me back to a reading that I had with Sirius.guidance, lotuselysse, and thesoulsage where Louie and Elysse had picked up in my reading that I was ashamed of my own spiritual practises as Lilith and my Sun are together in my natal chart.

It was around 7am GMT time and I was dumbfounded but shocked at how he picked this up. As this something that I rarely discuss with people and it is something that I attempt to water down or playdown. Coming out of my 4H profection year, my perceptions on the church as I once knew it and charismatic Pentecostalism really changed. My perspective shifted and I began to understand how customary and traditional African practises, were the missing pieces in solving African problems that require African solutions.

So, when Louie had mentioned this and Elysse honed into the fact that the very spiritual path that I am torn about or ashamed about is the very thing that heals and supports my body and soul in a spiritual and emotional way, it was such a beautiful moment and an ah ha moment because I also began to revisit past flashbacks of me hiding this part of me. Even around partners if I was listening to gospel music, I would change the music or go out my way to not display these things. I also believe that I hadn’t felt like I had found my safe space per say to truly explain my love for worship music or music that allows the holy spirit to take over and perhaps for these reasons I would conceal these parts of me.

Presently, I strive to talk myself out of these behaviours. Particularly when it comes to Instagram story posts and how I may sometimes fear how people may perceive my views or beliefs and that shame that surrounds my love for the esoteric. On these days, I have to post even in the discomfort and some days the discomfort takes over and I withdraw.

But as mentioned before, with all this mercurial energy I truly came here this lifetime to share my voice. So being able to take baby steps and showcasing my values and beliefs to the outside world and also in my personal life has helped me overcome the confusion and discomfort that I have experienced at times.

Particularly when you tell people that you believe in Astrology, many people even past lovers have looked at me funny. The look that says a lot without even saying anything. What most people fail to understand is that Astrology is not just about sun signs. It’s a tool to understanding human behaviour and the root cause to many systemic issues in our personal lives. It provides a lens to explain the answers to certain things. Whilst it does not contain all the answers to life’s problems it sure has helped me understand some of the wounds I carry.

So, when saturnrevolution had also posted that Lilith is the shamed self that we hide, it really hit home. Having a safe and sacred space to share your story and parts of yourself not only liberates you from the emotional and mental chains of heaviness. But also inspires people who are in similar experiences to have hope and not give up. It’s an essential part of this human experience. Being able to share our stories and experiences which have shaped us without judgement and stigmatisation.

When we find the inner strength to share the stories and experiences that weigh us down with shame, we find a way to release the guilt, the blame, and the shame. For me it’s not only my spiritual beliefs but also previous love interests and the lack of boundaries and self-respect I had for myself. Overtime, I have found ways to share these parts of me I found that embarrassing or felt that I had to tone down due to people’s perceptions of me.

The liberation we seek is in being able to authentically relate to the human experience, after all we are all trying to navigate this thing called life. Accepting that along the way we make mistakes and are not shy to show that through these lessons and experiences we encounter we learn some of the greatest lessons that shape us. The ability to share our stories should never be restricted or limited. In telling our stories we liberate ourselves from the internal heaviness that weighs us down and tells us we are not worthy of other feelings but shame. It is my wish and desire that as people we lean into this gift and make use of it whilst we still have the opportunity and time to do so.

With mercury being my dominant planetary ruler, I know that part of my mission on earth is to be a messenger. And in moments like this I can’t help but feel like it has been a full circle moment. The synchronies throughout Scorpio season have been immense and as I typed this message out these were the words that were echoed back at me so clearly. The pieces are really coming together and I feel really fulfilled sharing this message as I know that this message will reach the intended souls when the time is right for them to receive this message.

Thank you for taking the time to read this blogpost and I pray that you in your own ways find the inner strength to share your story and release the grip of shame. If you are interested in my other work please check out my Instagram for more or other blogposts on medium.